What's on Your Resume? Typing, Dictation, Wang-Slanging...?

The title of this one comes courtesy of @basseyworld.

We were discussing the ridiculousness known as Trey Songz lyrics, on, of course, Twitter. (Bassey: "'Your body is a problem, they call me the problem solver.' Is this song about sex or math?") I mean, all this guy sings about now since his previous efforts couldn't sell a can of beans is getting it in. Seriously, peep the song titles:

I Invented Sex
Scratchin' Me Up
Neighbors Know My Name

While I'm slightly impressed that he's managed to take individual hallmarks of intercouse (screaming, scratching) and make entire songs out of them, I can't help but wonder if sexing is the only thing Trey finds himself qualified to sing about. Hence Bassey's musing over what he would list as "Skills" on his resume -- "Typing 75wpm, taking dictation, inventing sex..."

Basically, I'm wondering if Trey thinks his penis is the best thing he has to offer the world.

Because I'm seeing a lot of that lately. Guys distilling their value down to how well they can thrust. (Honestly... how hard is to thrust?) I mean, there once was a time where almost every male R&B artist sang about loving, honoring and adoring their women, and even -- perish the thought -- making love to them. Now we have dudes that simply want to "clap clap clap from tha back back back" and "beat your body like the Congo."

Not only does that not make sense, it also sounds a little violent.

(And potentionally offensive to the people of the Democratic Republic of the Congo.)

But this is not limited to Trey. All kinds of guys -- singers, celebs, reg'lah-ass dudes, are jumping on the wang-slanging train. And not just figuratively.





...

No, I will not attempt to comprehend.

And it wouldn't be nearly as disturbing if I didn't experience this in real life. Well, not ^this^ exactly, but as in otherwise seemingly-normal guys resorting to verbal dick-slanging as a last-ditch effort to sell themselves as "a catch." In one case, a male acquaintance used it to try to convince me (for the umpteenth time) to visit him -- after I'd already said no.

"Seriously, Veronica... just one weekend. We'll have a great time."

"I've already given you my answer. You're really gonna have to convince me."

"Well... you'll get some good dick."

....

That was supposed to make me pack my bags.

iCan't. iCannot. I can no longer with dudes using their penis as their prime selling point. Is that all you got? Is that all you have to offer? Of all the qualities boast and brag about (ambition, talent, leadership, possession of an actual moral compass, hell, even money at this point) you choose to sum up your value as a man with your peen? Women needed an entire movement to start seeing themselves as more than sexual vehicles, and now you're willingly submitting yourself to that sort of exploitation? Like, "Fuck it, all I need is my piece (and I don't mean gun... heh)"?  Not to mention there's a whole history of white supremacist efforts to paint black men as sexual beasts who need to be controlled and contained in order to protect society from their "savagery"? It. Does not. Compute. I want you to think more of yourself.

So, even though it's trendy, and the songs sell well on the radio and in the clubs, following the example of Trey (and a few others) and putting your pride on your penis is the quickest way to get yourself NOT taken seriously. Sure, you may come across a girl or two who's intrigued (and a few misguided souls who may actually think that's the measure of a man), but if all you have to offer is your peen, that's all anyone will be interested in.

Revise your resume. Just sayin.

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